This might
be the most overlooked damage that
schooling does. It doesn't just fail
to teach responsibility. It actively
prevents responsibility from
developing. For 13 years, students
are told when to arrive, where to
sit, when to speak, when to eat,
when to move, what to learn, how to
prove they've learned it, and what
happens if they don't comply. Every
decision is made for them. Every
choice is eliminated. Every
opportunity to practice
responsibility is stripped away.
Think about what that does to a
developing human. Responsibility is
like a muscle. It grows with use.
You give a child a small
responsibility, they handle it, you
give them a slightly bigger one,
they grow into it. By the time
they're adults, they've had years of
practice making decisions, facing
consequences, and learning from
mistakes. That's how maturity
develops. That's how brains learn to
handle complexity.
But school
does the opposite. It says: you have
no responsibilities here. Your job
is to show up and do what you're
told. Don't worry about food—we'll
tell you when to eat. Don't worry
about money—that's for later. Don't
worry about real problems—those are
for adults. Don't worry about
consequences—we'll give you grades
instead. For 13 years, the message
is consistent: you are not
responsible for your life. You are
responsible for compliance.
Then suddenly, at 18, the message
flips. You're an adult now. You're
responsible for everything. Your
education, your career, your
finances, your health, your
relationships—all yours. Figure it
out. And we wonder why so many young
adults struggle. We wonder why they
move back home, why they can't hold
jobs, why they seem immature
compared to previous generations.
The muscle never got worked. It sat
unused for 13 years, and now we
expect it to perform at full
strength overnight.
This
could explain the whole "brains
aren't fully formed until 25"
narrative. Maybe it's not biology.
Maybe it's just that we've delayed
responsibility so long that brains
don't get the workout they need
until years after schooling ends.
Maybe the 25-year-old brain looks
different because the 18-to-25
period is when most people finally
start having to make real decisions,
face real consequences, and take
real responsibility. The brain is
catching up on years of missed
practice.
Consider how
different this is from most of human
history. For thousands of years,
children worked alongside adults.
They had real tasks with real
consequences. They contributed to
the family's survival. They learned
responsibility by practicing it
daily. By the time they were
teenagers, they were capable of
running households, managing farms,
and raising families. They didn't
need their brains to "finish
developing" because they'd been
developing them all along.
Now consider how different this is
from other cultures today. In Japan,
children clean their own classrooms.
They serve lunch to each other. They
have real responsibilities that
matter to the community. The result
is young people who are capable,
self-sufficient, and mature earlier.
Not because their brains are
different, but because they've been
practicing.
The current
system doesn't just delay
responsibility. It actively trains
dependence. Students learn that
someone else will make the important
decisions. They learn that their
choices don't matter because the
path is already set. They learn that
consequences are artificial—grades,
not real outcomes. By the time
they're released into the world,
they've spent 13 years learning to
be passive. Then we blame them for
not being active enough.
The
fix is simple but radical: start
giving young people real
responsibility from the beginning.
Let them make choices about what
they learn. Let them face real
consequences for their decisions.
Let them contribute to their
communities in meaningful ways. Let
them practice being adults while
they're still young enough to learn
from mistakes. Don't wait until 18
to start working the muscle.
This isn't about making childhood
harder. It's about making adulthood
possible. The kids who seem most
mature, most capable, most ready for
life—they're almost always the ones
who've had real responsibility
somewhere. Maybe in a family
business. Maybe caring for siblings.
Maybe managing their own projects.
School didn't give them that. They
found it elsewhere. The question is
why we don't make it everywhere.
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